Lessons learnt - Transform our self

Lessons learnt - Transform our self

I was away from my work, my busy life. Got pretty much of exercise time for my mind.

1. I used to avoid some people with whom I feel there was difference of opinion. But then I realized there was some more qualities in them that I didn't notice. There were lessons to learn from them. Why cant we concentrate on the virtues rather than their fault. Each and every person has some unique ability. So the decision was just to learn what ever I can from the other person and ignore all of the other bad traits. Stop pointing fingers and just keep track of the negative emotions running across our mind. It is during our difficult times that we realize the value of people in our life. However busy we are we should find time to stay connected to people.


2. Decide to keep away from negative talks. Equally important is to be cautious in what you think and talk.

3. You have been allotted different responsibilities in your life. Keep improving and do all the responsibility properly.

4. Rather than watching TV, you can improve your knowledge by reading. I watched a video in which someone was telling how much time we use productively all the day. We are stressed up with the worries of past and anxieties of future. I analysed myself, yes there is plenty much that I can and should do. Use every opportunity to learn.

5. Ready to admit mistakes and forgive. This is not an easy job as said. We all make mistakes in life. Admit your mistakes if you regret for it, take responsibility for that and take remedies. Just look at the situation from the other person's perspective and think how he or she had felt.

As said " One of the keys to happiness is bad memory", Accept apologies whole-heartedly. No need to keep your life complicated by holding on grudges. Take choices that are healthy for your mind.

Think wisely and Make the best out of your life.

The true meaning of life is what you choose to make life for yourself. We need to learn some lessons to make this journey beautiful. Our parents, teachers, friends, acquaintances and even strangers teach us lessons. Do we learn, that is important.

In life we always face situations that upset us,times when our attempts fail.
We ask ‘why only me?‘, then think of  those who are worse than you. Just now you are reading this post because you are literate, you own a system. Be thankful for the friends, family you have.Happiness is a choice.Being grateful will always make you happy.

Never ever compromise on your values.

Love is a beautiful emotion.  Love freely and deeply, for being able to love is what makes life worth living.Experience life and be receptive.

Spend time with children.
It is amazing to see how they live in moments.You can learn a lot from them.

Don't be foolish by allowing others to take decisions for you. Set borders and limits. In the same way, allow others to make their own decisions.Own your choices and mistakes, and be ready for improvisation.

We find many person regret later in life. 

Reason may be many
1. Regret for not understanding love
The divorce rate increasing day by day proves it. Talk to the couple later. They will surely tell they regret for the break up. The regret  is that he/she didn’t correct  most of the signs/problems/warnings that led to it.  And they regret they should have put more effort.
2. Regret for not making wise financial decision.
3. Regret for being too busy in life and not giving the much needed attention for the family.
4. Regret of their old bad habits like smoking/drinking when they become seriously ill.

Life is full of choices, choose wisely and enjoy life.

Art of Parenting

Parenting is indeed an art. Personality and character of parent has a significant influenza on children. The most successful parents are the ones who let children believe more in themselves.

Many often parents are over protective.Protecting or caging a child prevents him from exploring the world and learning from it. Allow them to do things for themselves, to experience life. Let them believe more in themselves and handle situations on their own. They may fail sometimes but they will learn more from each experience.

Another problem is over indulgence.
Every parent wants his or her child to be successful in life by choosing an appropriate career. But does everyone gives the child to chose his path? The choices of life shouldn’t be affected by others interference. If you want to be a singer, allow them to learn singing.Allow the child to follow his/her passion and give your full support.

Since your child has the ability to take decisions, do not intrude in his/her life. Dont pressurize them with your opinions. Many often over indulgant parents create a  sense of self-centredness in children.These children are found to be  less happy and less contented. They face troubles with relationships, and have difficulty handling failures.
We see a lot of marriage breakups these days because of over interference of parents.

Spend quality time with them. Listen to each and  very thing they tell.Let them know that they can be honest with you and tell you everything frankly. When the child makes a mistake, patiently make him/her understand the mistake. Let them understand that it is perfectly okay to make mistake provided you are ready to correct it.

Often the little things we do say a lot. Children notice all the little acts of kindness we do and they learn a lot from it.

Never compare your child with others, every child is gifted with some unique qualities.
Teach your children values like compassion, empathy, honesty, respect, responsibility.

Broaden our perspective to enjoy life

In life we face different situations. Is there any definite criteria for our happiness? Once we fulfill one desire, we are  on the lookout for the next thing in our list. We believe  happiness lies in accomplishments and possessions. once we completes our education, we want a job. Next we are unhappy when we compare ourselves to the friend who has more salary. The root cause of our unhappiness is our inability to observe ourselves properly. We are caught in our own perspective, and unable to see the perspectives of many others around us. Seeing something from a different perspective can raise your own awareness and enable you to find better solutions.

I have seen some people always thinking of the issues in life and getting upset. They worry more, forgetting what all God has gifted them with. I gets irritated on this. Why can't they look on the lesser fortunate people and feel contended. 

During stressful situations, we are usually focused on the things that are going wrong in our lives. The key to happiness lies in eradicating the selfishness. Even if in some situations we fail, we become a better and stronger person.

Some times in life we get involved in arguments. We stick on to our beliefs and concepts. I believe that perception and how you react to situations changes everything. Consider  the perspective of the other person and solution to the argument can be obtained.

Life brings us different opportunities.We need to grab them  to enjoy life. Broaden your horizons, equip yourself more with more knowledge and be strong.

As you widen the lens of your perception, you'll experience less tension, improve your attitude, develop keener insight into the meaning of your life, and most likely enjoy greater material success as well.

I used to get tensed when some disappointments happen. One of my friends gave me some advises. And from then on I used to ask these questions.

Will this matter 10 years from now? After all what?

We can be happy if we at least a few in this list.

Are you in reasonably good health?
Do you have your eyesight? 
Is there a roof over your head and a job?
Do you have a family that love you?

Focus on the many things for which you are grateful. I have not achieved everything in my life that I yearned for. But I am counting my blessings and I am perfectly happy.

Discover happiness

I was thinking of all the person whom I have met in my life and distinguishing the happy and those unhappy. 

The most happy one I met was a sweet lady. I know her from my childhood. She is a widow, all her siblings have died. She lives alone in a house. To add more she is childless. But not a day I have seen her unhappy. She is cheerful always, loves all the people she met especially children. Her kitchen cupboard always has a box filled with chocolates for all. And I am surprised to see her always pleasant. She lives a very systematic life in spite of all these troubles. Yes she has accepted what all life has offered to her and still living a contented life.

The unhappy ones I met had almost everything, but they lacked contentment. They were focusing their happiness on the material things acquired.

My happiness comes from several different things
1. Cooking good and different food for my family.
2. when a new shot appears on my rose in the garden
3. Sometimes the pleasure of watching a beautiful film
4. Sometimes talking to a good old friend

All these pleasures have nothing in relation to money.

To some all the wishes in life are granted. But when things doesn't happen as we expect, it disturbs the normal being.But the basic understanding that ups and downs can happen will do a real difference.You cannot truly cherish the happiness if you don’t know what challenges and sadness are.

We often complain when things go upside down. But being aware of the situation can do a  great deal.  We need to decide whether to  move on, or to  dwell on the things you can’t control.

Happiness has nothing to do with your life's circumstances,its based on your ability to accept the things you are experiencing.

1. Be pride in how far we have come from and have faith in how far you can go.
2. Enjoy life with less expectation and explore more of it.
2. When difficult situations happens, believe in yourself and to handle it.


Actually it is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. Enjoy all the simple things in life - we all have just one life.

Discover yourself

Last week one of my niece had got a school assignment, It was to write all the things that she knew of herself. At an age of 10, she completed that with the help of her parents. Yes, she is too young to write it on her own.

One of my friends was in a complex life situation by which he was losing the self esteem. He was confused of the correct way taking advices from all. I believe we can take inspiration from everyone, but at the same time we should be our own master.

I like these quotes

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.”

“The things that make me different are the things that make me.”

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.

Every situation in your life, be it positive or negative,It is your responsibility, and yours alone. Just believe  that regardless of what has happened up to this point in your life, you are strong enough to making choices to either change the situation, or accept what happened.

Being different is not an easy job. The moment you can stop letting your view of yourself be based on what other people think is the moment you take control of your life. What matters is what you think of yourself.

I want my friend to learn all these lessons. You can decide to be and do whatever you want with your life.

Always believe YOU are beautiful. Happiness depends on ourselves.

Give so much time to self improvement than to judge and criticize others.
Be true to yourself and the whole world will be on our side.

Why trust in marriages break easily?

I was on my way to office. I saw the auto driver again. Two months back I saw him he looked disturbed. Don't know why he asked the question to me, " Do you where we need to go if have some issues in marriage, Is it a doctor I should see?"

I knew nothing much on that so I told you need to visit some counseling centres for that. He asked me whether I can help getting the contact number and the fees.

I managed to get some details and handed over the same to him when I saw him the next time.

"Hope everything is settled now", I asked. He has two children he told that day. He told me wife hesitated to go for counseling. I just consoled him "Let it give some time, it will all settle itself". He told me it is the fourth year I am waiting, the issue is yet not resolved. I had no answer.

Yes the rate is increasing drastically. Is it the lack of freedom , lack of money, lack of respect everywhere? No for sure since it is more in the IT sector and other highly paid jobs. Reasons are plenty, but the sad part is that the couples mostly do not take hundred percent conscious effort in resolving the issues. Egos, self respect all are villians in this play. 

Most of the couples will have children too, instead of correcting the mistakes if found they are magnifying the issues and projecting the faults. The losers in this game are the children.

I believe marriage should be a relation where two people meet, share their lives and improve themselves. The same boy/girl whom you started loving becomes the enemy there.

Marriages become beautiful if we are ready to sacrifice our ego and  selfishness. The issues normally are due to grass greener on the other side syndrome. Instead people give up too easily and blame the other person for not making them unhappy.
Misunderstandings can be easily resolved if you have good communication. People don't realize that these relationships require maintenance and care.