Friday 12 December 2014

Best lyrics I enjoyed in the recent times

Best lyrics I enjoyed in the recent times

A song that I heard which I liked very much. This song Ananda Yazhai from the Tamil film Thanga Meenkal made me listen it repeatedly.I watched the video and again it was awesome. A song which pictures the love between a father and daughter.

Beautifully sung by Sriram Parthasarathy, beautiful lyrics by Muthukumar and beautiful music by Yuvan Shankar Raja.

I couldn't understand the meaning fully, but it didn't create any problem in enjoying the song.

I searched for the lyrics and the meaning and here it is.

magalgalai petra appakkalukku mattumdhaan theriyum (Only the fathers who have daughters will know)
mutham, kaamathil serntha-dhillai endru (that Kissing is not Sex or is not related to Sex)

anandha yaazhai meetugiraai, adi
nenjil vannam theetugirai
anbenum kudai-yai neettugirai
adhil aayiram mazhaithuli koottugirai

you are playing the happy veena
you paint lovely colors in heart
you share a umbrella of love
you collect thousands of rain drops under it

iru nenjam inaindhu pesida ulagil
baashaigal edhuvum thaevai illai
siru pullil urangum paniyil theriyum
malaiyin azhago thaanga villai

Language is not a necessity when
two hearts share the thoughts
beauty of a dew drop on a grass
might reflect a mountain

unthan kaigal pidithu pogum vazhi
adhu podhavillai innum vendum-adi
indha mannil idhu pol yaarumingey
engum vaazhavillai endru thondruthadi

Path led by your tiny finger holding
on to my hand never gets over
I feel that there is no one on this earth
living like us

anandha yazhai meetugiraai adi
nenjil vannam theetugirai
anbennum kudaiyai neetugirai
adhil aayiram mazhaithuli kootugirai

thoorathu marangal paarkkuthadi
devathai ivalaa kaetkkuthadi
thannilai maranthey pookkuthadi
kaatrinil vaasam thookkuthadi
adi koyil etharkku deivangal etharkku
unathu punnagai pothumadi

Trees are looking at you
and presume that you are an angel
flowers blossom at the sight of you
and the fragrance fiils the air
why do we need temple, or Gods
when your smile hangs around

indha mannil idhu pol yaarumingey
engum vaazhavillai endru thondruthadi

I feel that there is no one on this earth
living like us

anandha yazhai meetugiraai adi
nenjil vannam theetugirai

you are playing the happy veena
you paint lovely colors in heart

unmugam paarthaal thonuthadi
vaanathu nilavu sinnathadi
megathil maraindhey paakkuthadi
unnidam velichcham ketkuthadi
athai kaiyil pidithu aaruthal uraithu
veetukku anuppu nallapadi

Moon in the sky looks small
when compared to your smiling face
moon hides its face under the cloud
and asks for brightness from you
hold her on your hand, offer consolation
and send it back to her home

indha mannil idhu pol yaarumingey
engum vaazhavillai endru thondruthadi

I feel that there is no one on this earth
living like us

anandha yazhai meetugiraai adi
nenjil vannam theetugirai

anandha yazhai meetugiraai adi
nenjil vannam theetugirai

you are playing the happy veena
you paint lovely colors in heart
you are playing the happy veena
you paint lovely colors in heart

This song won the National Award for best lyrics.

Step out of your comfort zone

It is only when we Step out of your comfort zone, that we enjoy life fully.

I  have observed that if we are chained up in our beliefs, we are limited in achievements. An artificial mental boundary is created within which we feel we are secured and out of which you experience great discomfort.

I have met quite a few who themselves think they are weak and not able to handle the responsibilities. Excuses excuses everywhere and are tied up in their beliefs. They blame their circumstances, their choices etc.

They are  accustomed to the comforts of "I cannot","it is too difficult" and helplessness.
We tend to forget that we are becoming weak by allowing others to do things for us.

But the other set i.e strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them.  They take full responsibility in life, do all the hard work and knows life is a mix of good and bad moments.

If we are used to our comfort zone, we are not learning, growing, developing, or progressing in life.
As long as we remain in our comfort zone, life continues as usual.

There are many ways to get out of this comfort zone

Make more friends
The more we associate with people, the more our world and mind expands. Make connections with people who can influence you positively.

Challenge yourself and take responsibility

Mistakes may happen, but it  allows you to discover a lot of exciting things in the journey.
Celebrate your victories, and efforts.

I have met many people who fear change so much and they  stagnate the growth of the organization/associated people. They are against innovations and new ways. 

When we push our boundaries, our comfort zone grows, and we grow.

We all are used to the safe known path.

Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable

Examine your core beliefs. Don't be rigid in your thoughts.

Do all that is necessary in life and give the best to your life. Take risks in life whenever needed.

Two easy recipes - Cabbage Koottu and spicy kozhukkatta

Two easy recipes - Cabbage Koottu and spicy kozhukkatta

Cabbage Koottu


Toor dal - 1/4 cup

Cabbage - 1/2

Sambar powder - 2 spoon

Chillies - 4

Mustard - 1 spoon


1. Pressure cook tool dal with turmeric powder for 3 whistles

2. Add Cabbage chopped into fine pieces, salt, sambar powder, curry leaves, little ghee(optional) and cook for 3 whistles

3. Grind coconut, Jeerakam, Red chillies and add to it.

4. Season it with mustrad, red chillies, Urad dal, Curry leaves and 1 spoon coconut fried till red.

This is a good side dish for rice or chappathi.

Spicy Kozhukkatta


1. Grind rice powder(2 cup), 1 red chilly, 1 spoon pepper, 1/2 spoon jeerakam in mixie with little water

2. In a pan, add some oil, fry mustard, red chillies, green chillies and chopped onions and the ground mixture and fry the mix till it becomes thick

3. Make small balls of the mix and steam it for 10 minutes.

Can be prepared easily and served as a tea time snack.

Thursday 11 December 2014

How Giving/Generosity can help you to be happier?

We all are in some way or the other grateful to others. Many of us during our tough times would have met many saviors sent by God.

It may be during our studies, getting our first job, seeking an alliance for your son/daughter, accompanied by someone for a checkup, helps/support can be in many forms.

Is there any relation between our financial status and giving nature? Is it always the rich people who give more than the poor. No, not always. We have to be rich in mind to offer someone a help. A help which we does at the correct time will always be remembered. It surely will make a huge difference in the life of the recipient. And for the giver, it will give an enormous amount of joy.

We meet both generous and stingy people in our life, what I have observed is that generous people are more happy than the others. The generous help through their actions  get closer to God.

The stingy ones perhaps may be because of feeling of some insecurity on their life.
I have tried to analyze the reason behind being generous and stingy.

If a person always felt anxious about money during his childhood as a result of believing that his family didn't have enough money to spend on him then he might grow into a stingy adult and this insecurity may prevent him from giving his share  to others.

People who are obsessed with money and materialistic things might find it very difficult to donate.
May be they thinks it would be a loss. So reasons could be fear,insecurity and ignorant of the happiness in giving.

Anyone who offers Financial, Physical, emotional support gets an enormous amount of self satisfaction. There can be nothing equal to the joy of a person who has received timely help. And just to see a smile on his face can be most satisfying to us.

Gratitude is what happens when someone does something to you that causes you to realize that you matter more to that person than you actually thought you did.

Helping others while on the job could boost your happiness at work.

Many of us believe that happiness  lies in financial status and accomplishments. We fail to recognize that the secret to happiness does not lie in money, relationships or achievements, but rather in what we can give, not just material gifts, but gifts of time, love, our presence.

Compassion makes us happy  by broadening our perspective beyond ourselves.

Anyone who has ever helped someone knows that the sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that we feel is a happiness far beyond that of any material success.

The material things give us only short-term pleasure. Compassionate people are happy,healthy and  wealthy,

Think about what the other person wants or needs. Sometimes just being present and available to a loved one who is having a hard time is the greatest gift you could possibly give.

Each day life presents us with hundreds of opportunities to be generous in one way or the other. Giving makes the world a better place for us all to live in. If everyone did their part and what they could, maybe we could all reduce the amount of misery and suffering.

I have met few persons in life who are aged. They are not financially sound. They all once were very wealthy and are famous for their character of giving. Though they are much wealthy now, I am always able to see them with happy faces always.

Once a relative was undergoing Cancer treatment. We went to see them in the hospital. Since their children were away, they couldn't come and see him. Even after years, and though it was a small deed, they always feel grateful for it.

Some quotes I like

I've always respected those who tried to change the world for the better, rather than just complain about it.

When wealth is centralized, the people are dispersed. When wealth is distributed, the people are brought together

I would rather have it said, 'He lived usefully,' than, 'He died rich.'

It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.

If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.

It's not just about being able to write a check. It's being able to touch somebody's life.

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give

“You can have everything you want in life if you just help enough people get what they want in life"

Be generous and share with others – Give more than you receive because being generous will make you happy. Every charitable act is a stepping stone towards heaven. It is the action of kindness that make us more close to God.

Monday 8 December 2014

My New Year Resolutions

2014 is ending, another year awaits for us. I don't remember whether I had made any resolutions at the start of 2014. But yes, I am sure I have learnt some beautiful lessons. This post persuaded me to pause and rethink of my plans for next year.

2014 started to me after getting in contact with a friend after 5 years. The happiness that I got after giving me a pleasant shock in the form of a New Year wish was the best moment of the year.

The closer Dec 31 comes, the more we all start making resolutions. Whether we follow it or not, it motivates us and give us new hopes and energy.

To me the resolutions/plans for next year would be fix some of my faults in me and be a better ME.

1. Love myself more. Listen to my inner thoughts more, be more self-responsible, guide myself, take pride in my achievements and criticize and correct me when needed. I wish to give my 100% to myself, my family, siblings, friends and the organization with whom I work.

2. Forgive and let go of all resentments. I wish to Let go of the past.

3. Be more emotionally stable
I had jumped into some unwanted issues, because of my temper and sensitivity issues. I want to listen more and speak less in matter which I'm not 100% sure about.

4. Judge less, criticize less and more receptive. I want to accept and love people with all their faults.

5. I wish to give more love and care to the elderly people in my life. There are people who have expectations on us who need our care. I wish to give them more attention.

6. Reduce my time watching Television and use it creatively for reading/gardening.

7. Let go of per-conceptions,belief systems,close mindedness and to approach world with curiosity of a child. Children really aren’t much worried on what other people think of them and they learn many things.

8. Worry less and be more happy. I want to be more satisfied with what all life has  offered me.

9. Career wise,I want to learn more, apply my knowledge, accept challenges and do justice to the expectations.

10. Be more punctual and be on time to office.

11. Read more to earn knowledge and write more often to share my knowledge

12. Let Go of unrealistic expectations and be contended.

13. Reduce eating outside and make more experiments in kitchen.

Sunday 7 December 2014

Why do I love blogging?

I blog anonymously. I love it because it is my writing that creates the connection between the people I  meet here. Many times I feel happy after reading a good post. I do not know any of the bloggers personally. But the reading has brought some sort of familiarity between us. I doubt whether any other media has influenced me this much. I own a FB account. I am connected to my friends and family over there. I like to see the photos the updates and the other info shared by those in my group. But they all are already known to me in some where or the other. So some are close, more close etc.

But here it is the words that creates the magic. Many of the writers/bloggers have influenced me a lot. I am a working woman and was not that systematic in my house hold schedule. It was a blog that helped me organize, prioritise and schedule  all my work.

From the gardening blogs, I learnt the basics of Gardening, successfully started with Mint and now if I am a good gardener, I give three forth credit to all the bloggers who inspired me through their post. I now own a small kitchen garden with Tomatoes, Chillies, Curry leaves, Turmeric etc.

"Are you running a hotel at home?", My little niece asks this question whenever I search for some recipes in the posts and try that. I know it can be done without reading. But this helps to know the different and unique methods with which each one prepares some dishes and many times it tasted better. The pepper chicken, the Fruit Salad, the Biriyanis all I cooked with the help of the bloggers whom I read.

I helped me see people of diverse culture, different paces, different ages and all were brought closer to me depending on how I relate to what they write.Sine I work, I don't get time to read a book full as I schedule, but the reading helps me in many ways to gain knowledge.

I met people who think differently, people with high values who really inspired me, and it made me think and grow. And we are liberty here whom to read and whom not to. I myself have corrected many of my mistakes after reading some blogs. It allows us to reevaluate ourselves and improvise. Without moving, I have traveled along with the bloggers to different places, have experienced diverse cultures. We become more socially aware when someone points out the irregularities happening here.

And every time I see a mail notifying a comment for my page, I feel happy. There is a two-way connection here, the blogger and the reader. If I write a book, I cannot have a one to one connection between all the readers and me. But here it happens and for good.

 When I started blogging, I was doubtful whether I could write as I wish to. But I know through the writing I myself have improved a lot. What to write was a question. But now whenever I observer something that strikes me, I love to write about it.

Blogging is a way of investing your time and effort  to a create a post which comprises your views and offer it to the readers and if anyone likes it is a wonderful feeling. And sometimes it is a digital record of your thoughts, experiences and views. It allows us to enjoy the little joys of life.

Friday 5 December 2014

True measure of success - What does success mean to you?

How does you rate success? Who should acknowledge your success? Is it your colleagues/parents/siblings/wife or your children. I believe it is we ourselves should assess and rank us. If we can't please ourselves, nothing else matters.

I have met many sorts of people in this world, but the people I adore have something in common. They all are self made men.

They are the ones who have undergone a lot of struggles and  difficulties and without the help of favoring circumstances, have attained a lot in life. They  owe little or nothing to birth, to wealth inherited. They gain knowledge through life experiences.

The self made men deserve more respect than the others because nothing was easy for them and against all troubles they create their own identity.  They attain much success than that his original family or financial circumstances would have allowed him to.

There is genuine heroism in their struggle and they are the architects of their own good fortune.
They stay humble after each victory. They are unique in their thoughts and are never people pleasers.

Optimism, patience, and perseverance are the three essential keys to success.

I have met people who go after Astrologers for each and every minute things in life. I felt this is because they have little faith in themselves and are weak.

Last week, I heard a Tamil Song. It touched my heart so deeply even though I couldn't understand the lyrics fully. I thought it was a new one, but later knew that it got last year's award for best lyrics. Then I wondered whether such a song got all the popularity that it deserved.

I have felt several time that sometimes we respect people who have many personal flaws than they deserve. They are respected only because they are rich or powerful. We fail to distinguish high status people who acquire wealth through inheritance or good fortune than those who achieve the same through hard work alone.

The child of a high class family is almost always over conscious even when playing because he is afraid whether his dress would be damaged with  dust. Sometimes the financial  and social status are chains that forbids children to enjoy their life fully.

Many often we tend to forget people who helped us getting through the hard times. It may not be intentionally, but lack of time or some other reason. But we should pause and find time to make sure to remember and acknowledge their efforts.

I know a family where the elder son is a scientist and the younger one not that much qualified but with a decent job. The elder one is abroad, while the younger one along with his job does some farming, and take care of his parents. But every time in some occasions when I meet them together I have felt that the elder one is respected several times more than the younger one. The younger one is always seen with smiles. To me he is successful than the other because he is happy with life.

More money cannot bring us more happiness it means we are not successful if we have more money alone.  A millionaire who is not happy is not successful.

Each one of us have our own responsibilities, as a son/daughter/wife/husband/friend/teacher/parent etc. Whoever are aware of the duties and perform them are successful in life.

It is not the bank balance, the four wheeler you possess, the family status you have that counts. It is fighting against all odds in life, and staying humble after each success.

I would like to hear from you what success mean to you and do share points that I have missed.

Tuesday 2 December 2014

True love - love with all imperfections

True love - love with all imperfections

Dev & Neha were waiting outside the staffroom with Anu. Anu was busy describing them about  the library, canteen, playground etc.  They were wondering why her class teacher wanted to meet both of them. Anu was well in the studies and she had re-joined the school just this year. Few months later Miss.Preetha came and invited them to her place.

"Do you remember me?",She asked. Though Anu had told them that it was the same teacher who taught her during her fifth standard is the class teacher now, they both couldn't recollect the face.

Okay, I called you because I wanted to know something from you. I don't know whether you remember or not, till Class 5 Anu was my pet student. We used to travel in the same bus. She was close to me because of the little caring ways. It was after the first semester in Class 5, that we all noticed the changes in Anu. She became so depressed, unattentive in class, scored lower grades. Till then she was an all-rounder and a winner whether it is be in studies or in co-curricular activities. And after 2-3 months she took TC and left the school. Later someone told me that you relocated to some place. Though she left the school, on every Teachers day, she used to send me wishes. And it is after six years that I see her. And I was surprised to see the change. She is now the pet of each and every teacher here. When I asked her on this, she told me
it is a story worth hearing and will be better to hear that from my parents. So please tell me what actually happened.

Dev answered, "Anu is right Ma'm. Actually we both were the reasons for her issues. Our marriage was in constant trouble and arguments, frictions, discussion, conflicts and we were on the verge of a divorce then. We both felt we married the wrong person. It was not hate but we didn't know how to get along with each other. We wanted to escape from  the pain and frustration and thought divorce must be the answer. We didn't do that for the sake of Anu. We both loved her so much and she was the connecting factor. Anu started having many behavioral problems and developed problems with anger, disobedience etc.We got TC, Neha shifted to her native place along with Anu. My relatives compelled me for a re-marriage, we went for several counseling sessions and all failed. We lived seperate for 5 years."

"Were the issues that much serious",  Preetha was surprised to hear all these.

"Not all M'am. All the issues were minor. We actually had everything in life and may be because of that we failed to enjoy life. It was my mistake. I had a feeling that I am not getting all the respect and love that I deserve. Even when Anu was small, I wanted to complete my studies, go for a job. Dev was too busy in his work, I had many expectations but most were not realistic but I failed to share it all to him. My ego didn't allow me to be open up. What ever he did appeared a mistake to me then. Dev was much more patient than me but I was thinking completely negative and felt I have failed in life". Neha paused.

"No, it was not all her fault. I took many things lightly. I underestimated her a lot. Whatever she told, I felt was foolish.
I didn't handle the situation properly. There was a big difference in our personalities. I was grown up in a large family with and got lot of love and attention, while her parents were both busy and got little time to attend to her. May be she expected a lot from her husband.

 It was the separation period that brought us close together. Though we were physically apart, we both
were able to analyze ourselves and our faults became more clear to us. I started loving her with all the imperfections. I accepted her as she is with all her strengths and weaknesses.", Dev said.

The separation period brought us closer to one another. We missed both of us terribly. We learnt a lot of lessons from all these experiences.

We want to fix people because we love them. But sometimes, we want to fix our loved ones because of comparisons.

The moment you accept the other person and become grateful, a great miracle happens, the person learns to accept and everything heals. Positive changes begin.

We learnt to hold the relationship in high regard despite its imperfections, and to communicate effectively.

True Love is un-conditional.

Give more than you take in your relationship.

Learning to love yourself is the first step for being able to love others. The more you learn to be kind and responsible with yourself,  the more loving you will be with other

In true love, we are ready to sacrifice our ego and  selfishness.We can't force someone to love you; all you can do is become someone who can be loved. The only thing you can do is to love and appreciate the person by creating space for the other person to fix himself.

Today divorces happen because no one is serious in maintaining the love effects. The word 'DIVORCE' which was not known to our grandparents and not even common among our parents, has now been common in 80% marriages. Egos, lack of care, critizing, unrealistic expectation all adds up to it. If both partner does  frequent self-analysis and concentrates on correcting his/her own imperfections , then transformation comes and marriage will surely be a beautiful journey. When frustrations happens just relax relax and just rewind the good old days.

And so Anu is now happy because she is having a loving and caring family. We now takes all efforts to be a role model for our child and gives us what all she missed in life because of us. Neha completed her Post Graduation and is now doing a part time job.And we now know happy families make happy kids.

Faith in GOD

Today is an auspicious day,  Guruvayur ekadeshi. It was on this day on which Bhagavan Krishna revealed Gita to Arjuna

After a long wait for bus, I decided to take an auto. I saw the lady. And the conversation with her really energised my day.

She was going to a Krishna temple and was also waiting for a long time for the bus.

She has two daughters. Her husband was addicted to drinking and they were financially stable. She was living in a rented house. What differentiated them from others was their devotion to GOD. I was not a regular visitor of temple, but whenever I went to the nearby Shiva temple, I could see three of them, mother and the two daughters.

And anytime I saw them there was a smile on their face. A few months before someone told me her elder daughter was married by a boy who was a temple priest. There were socially and financially better than the family. But the marriage happened with hundred percent consent of the boy's family agreed. I was pleasantly shocked to hear about that.

Today when I saw her she told they have a boy child now and are living happily. She rightly said it "It is all by God's grace alone".

I could find a feeling of contentment, positive faith in her words.

She told me she had been asked by Mr.X(her house owner) to vacate the house. She had been living in that house for several years. I knew Mr.X. He was a landlord, had high salary, had shown his presence in politics also. She was called many times by their family for physical help in their house. His both children were abroad. She told me that many times when the children came for vacation, they would ask her to cook food food them too. And now to build a flat, they have asked her to vacate the house. I could understand the pain in her words when she told me that M.X didn't help her when she had to find a new house.

Even the children didn't bring here even a chocolate though they are financially settled.

It was too weeks back only that I had heard that Mr.X was hospitalized for kidney failure and was critically ill.

I have full faith in the lord and that alone will help us to overcome all obstacles. See, GOD will test us a lot, but he will always be with us. Once my younger girl is also settled in life, I will be happy. She was continuing.

She had left all her troubles in God's feet and was fully confident in God. There I could see a real Bhaktha or a devotee.

I have heard about the story of Poonthanam and Melpathoor Narayana Bhattathiri.

Poonthanam’s bhakti was silent, but highly potent.

Melpathoor Narayana Bhattathiri was a great scholar. Poonthanam approached the  Bhattathiri to correct the mistakes of his simple work. But he hesitated. The story goes that soon Bhattathiri was hit by paralysis and he prayed to Lord Krishna to cure him. Then he heard a voice : “I Love Poonthanam’s simple and pure Bhakti much more than your knowledge.” Bhattahiri repented,corrected it. He thus got cured of the disease.

Another version of the same story that I have read says that, after he rejected the work of Poonthanam, while he sat to read out his own

Narayaneeyam verses , a little boy appeared at his house. A beautiful boy. Bhattathiri allowed him to sit next to him and started chanting. In the first stanza itself, there were mistakes. As he proceeded to the second and third, the little boy pointed out more mistakes. Bhattathiri realized that this is no ordinary boy and it must be Lord Guruvayoorappan.

Immediately, he got up and prostrated at the feet of the boy. When he got up, there was none around. The little boy had disappeared.He heard the boy’s voice: “I like Poonthanam’s purity and devotion much more than your knowledge and associated ego.” And then he corrected his work.

Yes,  Faith is the rope of steel that holds a devotee to the Lord and is unshakeable. True devotees are contended, happy, tolerant and pure at heart.

Mother Theresa  said she saw Jesus in the eyes of every disadvantaged child she helped and  that is bhakti.
We must feel love for living being who surround us. We should love plants, flowers that are visible everywhere.

Devotion finds godliness in everything and everywhere.
When we focus our lives on higher thoughts and actions, we connect with the Divine.

Faith is our willingness to take the next step without fear and with patience to allow Supreme force to work through our situation.

Tolerance allows us to believe that even if  there is diversity among us, through religion,  culture ,status, we are all part of the larger Family and not to forget that everyone we meet deserves our respect.

Monday 1 December 2014

We need more civic sense

I was on my way to office. There is 15 minute walk from the bus stop. There were many autos in the stand. Though its a minimum distance journey, the first three drivers whom I approached hesitated. And the reason was gutters in the road. Yes they were right. I too sometimes wonder if a onetime trip through the road, makes me dis comfortable, how much would they suffer - back pain issues, their vehicles gets damaged because of the frequent rides in auto rickshaws. 

Authorities are blind to road-users, they are asleep or busy in their own jobs.

We need clean and beautiful roads. But do we take the effort to keep them clean.

Few months back in our street a house has been vacated by people and left vacant for a few months. In 2-3 weeks time, we could see a huge pile of garbage being dumped in front of the house.

If we had dustbins on our roads, and they are emptied regularly, we would not hold on to our waste and throw it there.

We hear of accident deaths due to careless and chaotic driving  very often but each of us believes that the road belongs to us. People simply have no regard for the others while driving.

Behavior at Public places is another such example. Many often we see co-passengers in trains/buses talking loudly, with no consideration for others.

At any place where there is a queue system, people trying to break the queue.
We never think of how civic sense and civil public behavior could make a difference to our country

Civic sense needs to be taught at an early stage itself.

We are advancing day by day in technology but in certain aspects we are still big zero.

Are Pedestrians always given consideration, many forget that they have the right of way.
Vehicles are parked in a manner that will obstruct traffic.

Do we bother to give up your seat to an elderly man. Many often drivers are not much aware of the noise pollution.

Civic sense starts from a "sense of belonging". We see people spitting on the roads.

We need to give importance to safety than speed. Many of the youngsters even before getting a job are given costly bikes by parents, but not provided the basic rules to follow while driving.

Saturday 29 November 2014

Be more Mindfull and Conscious

Mindfulness and Consciousness

Few months back, I attended a funeral function. I was wondered to see the screaming of the ladies there. It seemed they were not able to control the sorrow of losing their relative. But then they had not taken care of the relative when he was alive.

This happens in many relationships. We often take everything for granted and miss out many things in life.

We take loved ones for granted, assuming that they will be always have their support no matter what. Too many people have regrets if someone they love dies suddenly and they’ve never expressed their love.

Being taken for granted can happen in relationships with parents, with children, with spouses/partners, with friends and with people that we work with.

These days even when we spend time with friends and family, we’re not really there with them. We talk to them but are distracted by devices. Rather than just meeting with them, we should be able to connect with them.

Do not take anything for granted.Many often we forget the blessings in life and cry for what is lacking.

We wake up every day healthy, without considering the worries of unhealthy ones.
We look for big things to appreciate and ignore all the simple little things that add to its happiness.
The high salaried job, the nice dishes prepared by spouse/mom, the beautiful house that we live in, - we have it all but lack contentment. We forget that the things you take for granted, someone else is praying for. Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they already have.

Instead of being too busy with life, take time to go outside and observe nature, take a deep breath of fresh air, enjoy the serenity of greenery.

These days we see people driving so fast and accidents happen more often. If we apply the mindfulness principle in driving, we respect others who travel and reduces risk.

Every day is a gift; every breath is a gift. What we do with them is our choice and this determines our life.

We all know Smiling reduces stress. But I have met quite a few who never smiles.

When we are living with total awareness, we enjoy life.Be clear on what you  values more in your life

Be less judgmental, be more open and receptive to the world.

Be responsible for all your actions.

Be True to yourself.

People are not as beautiful as they look, walk, or talk.  They are only as beautiful as they love,  care, and  share. I have felt that generous people are more happier than others.

There is magic in connection. Take the time to listen. There is beauty everywhere, you just need to open your eyes.

Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.

Reduce tensions in life, be patient and enjoy life.

Friday 28 November 2014

South Indian Filter Coffee and Kozhukkatta

South Indian Filter Coffee and Kozhukkatta

I am a big fan of Coffee. I have a stainless steel coffee filter which was bought at  around 300Rs .

The coffee filter has 2 containers, an upper container with holes where you have to put the coffee powder , a lower container where the decoction is collected, a lid and a pressing disc with a center handle  which you  have to place over the powder to press and spread it

Put 3 spoon of coffee powder in the upper container, place it on top of the lower container and press the container gently with the press, so that the powder will settle evenly.

Pour boiled water over the powder and close it.

Leave it for atleast 15 mins.

The decoction will be collected in the lower container.

Boil milk, in a glass  take one-third decotion then add milk and sugar. Serve hot in a tumbler and dawara.

Daily evening we buy snacks from bakeries, though we know it is unhealthy to have junk and oily foods. Mom used to make snacks at home earlier. So asked her the recipe of Kozhukkatta and tried it.


Rice powder - 2 cup
Coconut - 1 cup

Boil water with little salt and add rice powder to it and make dough. Let it cool.
Dilute the jaggery in the warm water and strain it.
Heat this liquid over medium heat and add the coconut in it,and  stir till the liquid dries up and is ready for filling. Add powdered cardamom to it.
Make small balls of dough and flatten it in your palm
Take a  spoon of jaggery cocunut mix and fill into it and close it in a neat ball
Steam it for 10-15 mins till it is fully cooked.

Let it cool and then serve.

It was my first experiment and Kozhukkata was a little hard. But taste was good. The problem was my dough was too hard I should have added little more water and made it little loose.

Wednesday 26 November 2014

Side dish for Chappathi

Chappathi Curry

1. Vegetables - Carrot, Beans, Potato, Soya Chungs, Caluli flower, Beetroot

You can choose vegetables of your choice. Cook vegetables with salt, chilly powder(1 spoon) and turmeric powder in cooker for 2 whistles.

2. Dry roast the following and grind it

Coriander powder - 2 spoon

Red Chillies - 5

Pepper - 1 spoon

Cumin seeds - 1/2 spoon

Fennel Seeds - 1/2 spoon

Patta, Cloves, Elakkai

3. In a pan fry thinly sliced ginger and garlic. Then fry Onion (1 big) till it turns brown. Add Tomatoes(2) thinly sliced and fry.

4. Add the ground masala and fry.

5. Add vegetables and water and let it boil for 10 mins

6. Add coconut paste(4 spoon) and coriander leaves.

This is a spicy dish and so good during rainy or winter season.

Tuesday 25 November 2014

Blog for a noble cause

Blog to feed a child

My little niece hates milk and certain vegetables. When she hesitates to have food and waste them, I use to tell her the story of the less privileged ones who are deprived of good food, good education. Her mother works in a government school and she tells us that most families  send their children to school for the mid day meals so that the children would not remain hungry.

Offering food to the hungry is the highest service to the mankind.

We are the largest producers of food grains and vegetables, but many children suffer from  hunger, malnutrition.

The children of poor families have to work and earn for their family. I wonder how a child can concentrate on the studies if he is too hungry. The Mid Day Meal Scheme was started to  protect children from classroom hunger, increasing school enrollment and attendance, addressing malnutrition. Many women gets job through it and earn through cooking.

Many of the parents will be working for daily wages and may have no time to pack lunch boxes for their children.

Akshaya Patra has been implementing the mid-day meal scheme across 10 states of India with a vision of  “No child in India shall be deprived of education because of hunger.”. Through the mid-day meal scheme it serves free school lunch to 1.4 million school children every day in more than 10,600 Government schools.

The greatest help we can do to the innocent children we find in the street is to get them enrolled in schools and give them proper food.

While preparing the mid-day meals for millions of children, Akshaya Patra keeps intact the nutrition requirement of the meal.

Let us all be a part of this noble initiative to make India a better place for children.

I am happy to write for this initiative. For every blog entry, BlogAdda will feed an Akshaya Patra beneficiary for an entire year.

I am going to #BlogToFeedAChild with Akshaya Patra and BlogAdda.

Friday 21 November 2014

Chicken Curry

Other than Reading and Gardening what interest me is making good food for my family. I have felt that when we cook the food with love and  patience, it simply tastes superb. This is one of my experiments in kitchen.


Chicken - 1 Kg
Garlic - 5-6
Green Chillies - 5-6
Small Onions - 10
Tomato - 2
Big Onions -3
Chilly Powder - 3 spoon
Coriander powder - 2 sppon
Chicken Masala - 1 spoon
Coconut - little


Marinate chicken with Turmeric powder, Salt, Oil and little chicken Masala for an hour. I used to refrigerate.

Fry Small Onion, Coconut, Chillies , Pepper, Coriander powder and chilly powder and grind.

In a pan fry ginger, garlic, Chillies, small onions (3), Curry leaves, Onions (3-4 thinly sliced), tomato.

Then add the ground masala and salt.

Add chicken to it and cook till chicken is fully cooked

Add coconut paste(5 spoon of coconut grinded to a paste) and let it boil for 5 minutes

Fry some pepper, cumin seeds and jeerakam and fry and add to it.

Add coriander leave, Curry leaves.

Personal space in relationships

Many people suffer in relationship not because of lack of love but because of lack of space.
Give sufficient personal space to your partner . Each one of us need time to relax, to engage in activities and interests that we enjoy and to associate with  important people in our life. While it is important to grow as a couple,it is equally important to allow the partner to grow as an individual.

To any relation to succeed we need to follow some rules

1. Love Unconditionally -  Unconditional love is when you love someone the way he or she is, and not the way you expect him/her to be.  Real love doesn't expect anything in return. If you want what is best for the other person, other than in how that person can enhance your life, then it is unconditional love.

2. Appreciate  - Learn to appreciate the qualities in the partner. It adds a lot of positive vibe in the relation when you take note of the little acts your partner does.  Partners who appreciate each other create a very strong relationship and care each other much . If some of your habits disturb your partner, make conscious effort to avoid it.

Many in relations feel angry at their partner for ignoring their efforts.Make it a habit to let them know that you recognize the little things, and it reciprocates.

3. Expect less and Accept more.

Before getting into relation, we should communicate our basic expectation. Many relations fail because of high expectations. High expectations lead to disappointment and frustration, especially if we do not communicate these expectations. Allow your partner to be himself/herself, and accept and love them for that.

4. Give space - Trust each other and give space so that both persons can grow.

5. Admit mistakes honestly - If you make mistake, admit it honestly. Genuine apology made and accepted has a significant role in maintaining relations.

6. Learn the art of forgiving

We need to find the right balance of personal freedom and commitment. When two partners can be together in a way that respects each person's individual space and at the same time expresses equal commitment, then both parties can relax and be who they are.

If the relationship is too tight, both partners feel suffocated. But if it's totally loose and there's no sense of commitment then there is no real connection.

Jealousy is not all good in any relation. It causes depression, anxiety etc

Some couples may be of diverse interest. Acknowledge the difference and allow the other person to follow his passion like reading, writing, music which ever it be.

Cultivate your own friendships, apart from your partner

There need to be a  healthy balance of connectedness and separateness to be happy in a relationship.

Love is important in a relationship, but overdose of it can cause suffocation and in turn kill the love.

Overdose of dependence (emotional or physical) can only do more harm.

Tuesday 18 November 2014

Give your money the respect it deserves

I admire people who handle money wisely and plan financial things properly. To live an independent and comfortable life, financial stability is a must. Showing respect to money means understanding its value in true sense and using it wisely. The way you use the money shows how respectful you are towards it.

These days, most people I know don’t have a financial plan. We spend a lot of time planning for other aspects of our lives, like  careers, marriages etc, but many of us actually don't know how to make financial goals and plans.

I have felt that if we keep track of our expenses and sticking to a budget, we spend less and save more money.

I am sharing some tips I learnt from others and my own experiences which I think may be useful

Create a monthly budget

There may be expenses which need to be settles on a monthly basis and on a term basis like building tax etc. Prepare a proper budget and keep money for each expense. Keep money  for all different expenses and keep them in separate envelopes.

Keeping an excel sheet would also be a good idea. Note down all sorts of incomes and expenditures.

Whenever a new bill comes, take note of the due date and record it.

Pay all the bills before due date to avoid fines.

Start with saving a fixed percent, say 10% of your income each money. Every time your income increases, increase the savings also.

Now since there are online facilities you can pay all of them easily. Keep a separate account and transfer some reserve amount to it monthly and pay all the expenses with it.

Keep your tax receipts and other bills in separate files

Don’t buy cheap stuff to save money, buy good quality stuff that will last long.

To keep yourself out of the grocery store and spend less, try to shop only once per month. Go to the store always with a list. When people shop more often, they buy more stuff. Resist the temptation to buy items that are not on your list.

Don’t waste electricity, water and gas in the house.

Teach your children also value of money. Don’t spoil them by buying them everything they want.

On occasions where you need to give gifts, buy creative and useful ones than expensive stuff. When you plan a gift keep a budget for it also in advance.

Those who doesn't spend it wisely will have to regret later. Emergencies may come anytime. Instead of running then it would be better if we could plan properly.Make sure if you don’t have work for some time you have the finances there to support you. If you have a goal of reaching financial independence in a certain amount of time then you will find all ways to achieve it.

Small changes can make a big difference to your bank balance. Do share your tips also.

Sunday 16 November 2014

Live life to the fullest.

It is not length of life, but depth of life. Everybody dies, but not everybody lives.

We all know life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually. Bey yes we are shocked when it happens to someone dear to us. Then we think about what all we missed in life.

Live your life TODAY!  Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of it either. Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive.

When you see smile on someone’s face, it  energizes you. You can’t get this happiness in any other worldly thing. Every small interaction with someone is an opportunity to have a positive impact on  your lives.

Remind yourself every morning that life is short. Cultivate the desire to taste and enjoy each moment

The best way to live is to embrace life with a belief that nothing is permanent.  Love your life as long as you live.
Take time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, to smell the flowers in the garden, to start some hobbies that may interest you. I started my trial of kitchen garden and the happiness I get on watering, seeing some veggies all can't be expressed in words. Gardening keeps my mornings peaceful. I enjoy cooking and experiments in kitchen. Cooking with love is one of the greatest things you can do to reduce the stress.

We meet people who are always happy whatever happens. They too have reasons for worries, but they don't allow the worries take control of them. And there are people who are always worried, with heavy bank balance, have all conditions to be happy, but still unhappy.

The first thing to lead a happy life is to know your worth.
Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away.

Don't be addicted to any thing. Fill your time with meaningful experiences.

Stop worrying of the future and never regret in life. Whatever is to happen will surely happen. Our life is the greatest gift that GOD has given us.  Try to be happy under all circumstances

Sometimes the shortest split second in time changes the direction of our lives.

1. Live in the present moment. We have only this moment in our hand.

2. We can learn only by making mistakes. So don't bother of committing mistakes.

3. Be humble - No matter what all we achieve in life, always be humble.

4. Never ever give up in life. Always self motivate yourself. Get rid of all negative thoughts.

5. Live with a pure mind devoid of ego. Holding own grudges will never allow you to be happy.

6. Plan your life properly
Most people spend more than they earn. The extra money is acquired by borrowing, or by buying with promises to pay in the future. Make wise financial decisions and be happy with the minimum.

7. Be flexible.
Some people  believe that what we see/think is the only right one, and we even force it on other people. Suddenly, life is all about proving who is right and who is wrong. If something fits into our views, we feel  happy. If it does not, we become angry and  stressed. Arguments, conflicts, difference of opinion all start. When your mind is open, you will have the wisdom to realize that it is OK to have differences. Learn to appreciate views and difference of opinion

Organize your life so that you can spend more time doing what interests you.

Tuesday 11 November 2014

I wish I could be six again

Oh my childhood

I know the days wont be back
But I wish the days were back

No other place is as safe as my mom's lap
The days where I slept with the lullabies
The sweet lullabies my dad sung for me
The tales which my grand ma told me
The days were beautiful

I was happy all the time
Chasing butterflies and plucking flowers
Playing Hide and seek with my cousins

So happy I used to be in my little world
The simple things and rain
Made my  heart laugh out loud
I was busy floating the paper boats in the rain
There was greenery all around

The lollipops we licked were so much tasty.
I remember licking every bit and saving the sticks.
Fish in pond, bubbles of soap, the play houses we made
All still fresh in my mind

The power cut time was a special time
All my family share their stories
My sister found it hard
To answer all my silly questions
But I was curious all the time

The hug and kiss mom gave me
After every fight was so much warm
I miss those moments and the golden days

I then wished I could have grown up
And now I wish I could be a child again

I know my childhood will never be back
But I will never let the child in me to go away

Why do we all have to grow up,
And regret the things we never did
Why can't we have all the time in the world
To play and enjoy as kids

I wish I could be six again so I could
Be the kid and enjoy  life

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Monday 10 November 2014

Know your strength and weakness

Know your strength and weakness

What comes to mind when someone asks you about your strengths?
Remember that moment during a job interview when the interviewer asked you what your strength and weakness are.You are then in the phase of life where you are not much aware of what your strengths are. Knowing yourself is true wisdom.

You listed a set of attributes before the panel and says I am this, I am that and so on. You get a job. Bank balance increases, life style changes, you own a flat/house/four wheeler and so and so. The person who scored well on all the entrance exams may not be the real winner in life.

Life is not easy for any of us. Unexpected difficulties may arise.

Perseverance, patience and wisdom these traits distinguish a strong person from the weak. Each experience whether it be bad or good should be our teacher.

I know a girl, she was well educated, got a job as a teacher, married a nice guy, built a house and had a beautiful daughter. All nice. Suddenly her husband had some health issues, he has to quit his job. She needed to manage everything the medical expense, the mental support for him and earn for the family. She traveled 150 km daily to reach her office and worked. She was the best lady I have seen since she gave all sort of emotional support to his partner, and was ready to sacrifice a lot. I envy her courage and determination.

Loving oneself is another important trait.I have seen people who hold on good relations with others and  value the relations have a sense of optimism and mindfulness in general. Love is a wonderful attribute that can be over used or underused —but when used well, love is a tremendous asset. Start by loving everyone around you. Show love to your friends, family, partner, colleagues, teachers, etc. Celebrate who you are in your deepest heart. When we try doing with love even the simple house hold duties like cleaning vessels will be something that we can enjoy.

Being responsible
Life is full of choices. Being responsible means being in charge of our choices and, thus, our lives. Make our own choices confidently without undue influence from others.

Appreciating the simple gifts of life. Enjoy the small beauties in world. Be receptive to the blessings and surprises of life and nature.  Be curious and try doing things differently

Learning expands our mind and soul.There are always new things to learn. Strengthen the current skills. Knowledge is the biggest wealth.Be willing to consider new ideas.

Humbleness: Be Modest; not arrogant or boastful. We should be able to keep things in perspective, and recognize our limitations as well as our strengths and don’t overestimate either of them. Humble people are more confident.While we  see a lot of self-important, and self-promoting people, humble ones are rare to find. Accept people ven if their opinions differ.

Be connected with the supreme power - A relationship of faith and gratitude with a power greater than ourselves.

It is when we are aware and acknowledge where our weak points are that we are most likely to overcome them.It gives you the courage to admit your own faults  and weaknesses.

Your character is what makes you the person you are.

Sometimes we have fears about our weaknesses without realizing it.

Some are easily affected withe negative thoughts. If possible, avoid the places, and people who trigger your negative thoughts.  Take up some new interest  like  a new hobby or a course that interests you and spare no time for negative thoughts.

Some people are short tempered. Sometimes in arguments even if they raise valid points that are unheard because of this. He who has enough self-control to stand firm at the moment when the other person is in a temper, wins in the end. It is not he who has spoken a hundred words aloud who has won; it is he who has perhaps spoken only one word. Once he/she is aware of this, he can take necessary precautions and be more aware in the next scenario.

Fear is one of main weakness people have. Little S loved singing. But her music teacher was always shouting at her when she made mistakes. Slowly she lost the confidence. Later she was taught by a new teacher and she made her alert of her mistakes and asked her to practice a lot. Slowly the girl enjoyed learning music and won many competitions.

At one point or the other we make mistakes in life. Mistakes can be silly too silly that it doesn't cause any damage to others and sometimes complex.

Sometimes we are addicted to some habits like smoking, drinking etc. It ruins our health and our family. If a man is able to recognize his addiction and able to control the temptation, he becomes strong and is able to control his life.Sometimes we mis-judge people and scenarios and overact. We are not able to control our emotions and anger. The moment we know things are different, we should be ready to admit our mistake. It takes strength to apologize.

Many people are in  false belief that admitting their mistakes makes them weak.   We all are human and we make mistakes in life.The attitude towards recognizing our mistakes will make a big difference in our life.

The humble people do not see the need to be perfect, because they already know perfection is impossible.  They see themselves realistically. Therefore, admitting mistakes does not damage their ego.

Make an honest apology. Many time people spend so much time in justifying their bad decisions.

Admission of a mistake, makes learning possible by moving the focus towards understanding

Many of us carry in our hearts a lot of emotional baggage of past hurts from others. All these make us weak.

Add more meaning to your life.

Wednesday 5 November 2014

What makes beautiful marriages?

We are nearing our tenth anniversary and this post is about what makes marriages beautiful. Ten years is something to celebrate for certain. Here I share some things about marriage that I’ve learned over the years.

Over the years I’ve learned what’s important, and what to let go. I am happy that after 10 years we’re still in love with one another, and  love our life together.

What made me write this post is not our anniversary, but recently I read about a couple with 4 children getting divorced and fighting for the children. The points that surprised me was the boy was now just 28 and wife 26. Both of them aren't properly educated even. It was love at first sight and a marriage when both were too young. And now they are fighting, what sin did the poor children did to suffer? How could they consider marriage as a silly thing?

Whether it be boy or girl, they should have the minimum level of education so that they can live independent and earn. Then only they should think of marriage.They should be independent and well equipped to face the world before tying the knot. Also they should have the mental maturity to choose their life partner. Nothing should be compelled. Yes family can choose the person but it is for them to tell their opinion and decide.

We take all effort to find the right partner for us. Family background, education, financial position, horoscope and star match. Criteria is long but the most important thing is to be the BEST partner.

Marriage is a thousand little things. It needs trust, friendship, understanding, appreciation, sharing responsibilities and faith.

If a relation is based on trust, the partners are ready to do all sacrifices to make it happy.

Treasure your life partner. All successful relations have admiration and mutual respect. The couples enjoy warm thoughts and feelings for each other and take full effort to ensure their partner feels loved and cared for.

Being the perfect partner means see the best, allow the other to grow and change. I have seen many old couples having healthier and stronger relationship. It was not because they have not much difference of opinion or arguments but because they tried to rectify the issues and knew forget and forgive.There will be imperfections, there will be incompatibities but the ability to deal with that is the secret.The key is to see your partner as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person.

Children learn the rules of marriage from the parents.

Marriage is not something to be taken into granted. In ten years, we have learned that. We’ve had to work at it sometimes. We’ve made compromises. We’ve had arguments and fights. But we’ve also recommitted to loving each other for the sake of ourselves

We learnt that there is no use in arguing  on silly things. Now when one of us bring up an issue, the other person takes it seriously.

Be considerate and communicate properly.

Be honest and make all decisions in life together.

While no relationship is perfect, our life together has opened my heart and mind to a whole new level of happiness, forgiveness, and true love. We are both the same people on the inside. Two souls finding our way through this life making full  effort to be good people.

Ego, selfishness,immaturity, inability to take decisions all are reasons for unhappy marriages.
Forgive almost everything as quickly as you can. Holding a grudge doesn’t solve your problem, it makes it worse. Before fighting for the rights, cross check whether you are doing the responsibilities.

There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it's not working and be honest when it needs fixing. Those who quit even without making proper effort doesnt recognize the beauty in marriages.

The most common reasons couples give for long-term marital success are commitment and companionship.

Celebrate your marriage every day. The key is to keep it fresh -- make your marriage feel new and exciting

Be happy for yourself. Only happy people can be happy partner.Does he/she bring out the best in you or the worst in you? Does he/she somehow inspire you to be a better person?

Look beyond the imperfections and be the best partner. A relationship can grow if it allow giving spaces, give and take policy, respect and emotional support.

Concluding with this quote by Khalil Gibran

Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

We make our own heaven or hell

We start hearing of heaven and hell from our grandma tales. Good people go heaven and bad to hell. What makes life heaven or hell for you?

We are the architects of our own fate. We meet the miserable people, who are always complaining about anything and everything, and  the optimistic people who always look at the glass as half full and are constantly seeking more out of life.

If a person can keep his mind pleasant in spite of the sorrows and difficulties he faces, he experiences heavenly bliss. But there are people who are always sad and dissatisfied. Such people even though wealthy and healthy are unable to experience true bliss. They feel they are living in hell.

The mind is nothing but a mix of positive and negative thoughts. The negative thoughts does nothing but drains our energy. Negative thinking can become a habit of mind and is easy to inherit.

Many fail in relationships because of the negative thoughts. Instead of feeling totally disappointed and frustrated do the little efforts to make the conditions improve.

The negative thoughts even without our knowledge takes full control of our mind.

Arrogance, ego,jealousy, grudges,revenge,possessiveness,domination, selfishness all make us live in hell.

The selfish believe they deserve more than others and believe they are the center of universe.

We meet people who give a lot of emphasis on material wealth as a sign of real wealth. They are rich but bankrupt inside and are unhappy. We see people dissatisfied with job, with  marriage, house,properties etc. They come jealous and then life becomes hell.

Sometimes people are caught up in the past and future too much. They miss many wonderful moments in life.

Some people are very much skilled in finding the fault with people and situations. They focus more on problems rather than solution.

When we think positively, we approach life with enthusiasm, there are good relationships, we have the strength to face  challenges in life. . This is the heaven created by our own thoughts and actions. You have the ability to bring Heaven on Earth even in the most chaotic of situations.

We have seen people with disabilities achieving a lot in life. But there are also people with sound health who idle around and stay unhappy.

We see relations between husband and wife, parents and children, between friends etc getting spoiled because of misunderstandings.

A positive approach to any situation can bring new changes. 

A happy mind can make the surroundings seem heavenly. But an unhappy mind only makes the surroundings unpleasant as hell.If you act according to moral principles you can create your own heaven right here.

Friday 31 October 2014

Prayer , God, Faith and Fear

"Come to my home this weekend, Mr.X is coming there. He will pray for you and sure it will be answered". We thanked his good intention, but my mind questioned. "How can someone pray for us?". Will GOD answer my answered prayer if someone else ask for it?

We know we weren't blessed with all that we wanted, buy yes GOD has provided us that understanding and maturity to accept things. But yes GOD helped us to be happy by showing living examples of unhappy people who possess much more than we had.

When I look back, I realize it was the difficult situations that made us grow.
To me GOD is my friend with whom I can openly share thanks, hopes, all my fears.I believe God is all around us, within each of us.

We all pray, visit temples/churches/mosques or we pray simply at home. And are we happy after the prayer. Very often we complain that he is not considering our wishes and  we often take the blessings he has offered for granted.

Closely listen, He is telling it’s not the right time. Please wait. If events are not happening as you expected , or if you  doesn't feel  circumstances change in your favor,relax and  trust God. God has some better action plan for you.

You may feel frustrated during rejections in life, years later you will look back at and thank God for not answering that prayer the way you wanted.

Learn to love all, not only the joys and the victories, but also the pain and the struggles. This is what GOD teaches us.

Many times I wonder when I see people go behind superstitions with the desire to make quick money without much hard work, for gettings jobs,promotion,  for fixing issues in marriage and some even ask for help in their wrong deeds. We are controlled by some unknown fears and become weak.We lose confidence in our own abilities after a certain period of time. It is FEAR that is ruling them

Nothing works if we heart is not pure. Even without doing our part well, we believe the special archanas/dakshinas  etc will  do wonders.  Greed is the main reason for many superstitions.Majority believe that they can peep into their future with the help of astrology. Many times they follow the advice of astrologers alone without doing their part. Even today people consider certain numbers, days etc as unlucky.

Be aware and use our reasoning ability. Majority of the superstitions are not based on any logic. It is now the FEAR of God than the LOVE of God that rules us. What we need is faith or  belief in one’s own self and a trust on the miracles of hard work. We should be able to judge everything by the strong light of reason  having firm faith in God

Sure there is an unknown  supreme power which is controlling every species. I believe we all have a destiny and I believe in fate and in karma.

There is an  attitude of offering something to God in return for a favour.Its not the special offerings but the true intention that matters. God can see right into your mind. A person who is kind, and honest is far more likely to please God,  whether he does his rituals or not.

Love and respect everyone. Be kind. Even when life is tough, take courage and believe in GOD. This is what each religion is supposed to teach us. There should not a competition between religions that each one is better than the other.

Be mindful and happy in the present moment. If we are not happy after the communication with the GOD, it is sure we haven't prayed anything.

People are often prisoners of their own concepts.

I can never believe that a human being can have the power of God. If their philosophies helps us to calm our mind we can hear them. We should not cross the limits by losing our common sense and start worshiping a human being who is like any of us.

God always help those who help themselves. So play our part well and then be ready to accept what is offered.We have to accept that God always wants to bring out the best in us. I remember a beautiful advice I received, Whatever it is whether it is good or bad,  leave it to God and have faith in Him.

Each one is distinct and unique in the eyes of God. Never compare , because there is no comparing amongst unique things. God-realization grants us Joy, Peace and Fearlessness

Our unfulfilled expectations can be a source of pain. Look for and recognize your blessings. Cultivate gratitude. Appreciate the people in your life. Enjoy the beauties of nature. Change your perspective and recognize that even  challenges are blessings because they give you an opportunity to grow.

Instead of worrying on the unfairness of life, you can be more accepting of your circumstances. When we have faith in GOD we  believe we are closer to God and accept all challenges in life as they come. And it adds more meaning to our life.

Wednesday 29 October 2014

Life without regrets

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. (Abraham Lincoln)

How many of us feel the real essence of life? Life is an amazing gift but many of us take for granted. I am not a saint. I do make mistakes. But I treat every experience in my life as a lesson.  Many often we hear people telling I regret I should have taken that courage to take that decision in life.

As people become older, they have many types of regrets

1. Regret for not speaking where they had to

2. Regret for not keeping in touch with some friends/relatives

3. Regret for the chances they missed and didn't made use in their life

4. For not taking risks in life

5. For being in the company of bad people and taking bad decisions

6. Sticking on to some bad habits

Are you living your life or just pulling off?

As said in this quote

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.
Kahlil Gibran

We meet people who are  successful in acquiring material wealth, but miserably empty inside.

Life can pass us by all too quickly and before we know it we have missed out living the lives we truly wanted.

Be yourself -  Love what you love and be yourself, and you will end up with a lifestyle and relationships that make you truly happy.The responsible individual strives to make  his own set of beliefs and values.

Behave honestly with everyone you encounter. Be genuine and  speak your mind without worrying about what others think.

Get inspired with others around you.It is equally important to start spending less time around with toxic people.

If we focus on what we don’t have, we’re going to be unhappy, and we’re going to suffer
If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough. Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul. 

If we are too rigid, we limit our opportunities for growth and bring frustration into our lives. Be open and be ready to embrace change.

Speak when you need to -  Don’t hide your thoughts and feelings, especially when you can make a difference.  Be brave.  Say what needs to be said.Speak clearly and keep your head up. Stand up for what you believe.

When we live too much in our comfort zone, we will never realize how happy you could be. Take risks in life when needed.

Monday 27 October 2014

Does your beliefs empower or limit you?

Does your beliefs empower or limit you?

We tell much of freedom, but how much truly are we free?

A news in today's paper that a woman committed suicide because of the dowry issue evoked many thoughts. From the article it  seemed it was a love marriage, she was a graduate. She couldn't withstand the issues created by her husband and MIL. He demanded money from her family last week.

Marriage in India is steeped in traditions and deep-rooted cultural beliefs.The dowry system is so deeply rooted in Indian culture.Many often  the girls commit suicide when their in-laws force  them to bring more and more money from their parents. Though there are now many laws to protect women these days we hear the suicide stories very often.

Many questions arose in my mind, She was a graduate, why couldn't the husband allow her to work and earn. She would have contributed to the family income and be independent. This was a love marriage and how could a man force his wife to such a bad situation?

Another story I found interesting was a birthday celebration of a child. The grandparents were very much interested to celebrate it since it is a BOY. That spirit was not seen when they had a girl grand child earlier.

 Even though there are laws to protect these, we as a society needs to do certain things

We need to teach our daughter the distinction between between being well-behaved and being a doormat.
Allow them to stand for themselves when situation demands.
We need to teach our boys the rules of equality and respect, so that when they grow up gender equality becomes a natural way of life. Educate girls as you educate your boys. In not any small way, discriminate between your girl child and your boy child. Allow our girls to stand up for themselves and reach their full potential.

Traditional belief systems have a negative impact on gender equality.Men are believed to be the heads of families and women are expected to submit themselves to their husbands.

There need to be a strong awareness in the minds of the people, the entire society needs to protest against the demand for dowry.

Each mother-in-law needs to think that she too was once a  daughter-in-law.  A woman is an important member of family and is entitled to all the rights that a man enjoys.

Whatever traditions you follow in your life, take a moment to think of the reason behind it.

Many often we are living in the prisons of our mind, created by us or influenced by others. Are we giving the much needed importance to our life. If everyone uses their mind in the best way world would have been a better place.

Negative stereotypes obstruct peoples ability to fulfill their potential by limiting choices.
Don't let anyone's beliefs ruin your life

We hear generalizations you make about things, about people and about life.You simply accept them as being the truth, and you don’t even question that things could be any different.

We have to believe fully in ourselves.

Free yourself from the prison of mind. We can be happy if we change our perceptions in life. Just because a situation isn’t favorable at the moment, it doesn’t mean that it is ruined or that things will never improve.

Concluding with Tagore's lines

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

We don't need anyone to assure us of our worth, we must do it ourselves

Saturday 25 October 2014

A leader is someone whom others like to follow

Who are leaders? Anyone who brings good changes can be considered a leader.  We  all can be leaders and lead others by example. We are leader to our co-worker/wife/children/siblings/parents/neighbors/friends and even strangers.

The stories are from what I observed during different times.

When I started my career, I saw employees deceiving their managers. There was a guy, he was the senior most employee, his duty mainly was to deceive the managers rather than doing his duties. The managers were doing this as a part time business and didn't know much about the business and so they blindly believed whatever he said. I couldn't digest any of the things that he did. The management always considered him as the key person in any decision making. Despite the fact that he wasn't contributing anything significant to the organization, he was considered the manager to whom other employees should report to. He had convinced them that he was doing a part time professional PG course for which he not even had registered. When I joined the team, I was about to complete the same course. I could understand the lies he was telling. All other employees were frustrated since they did know that he was getting more than what he actually deserves. Two months after I got another job and I resigned from there. On my last meeting there with the MD, I told her, please don't follow anyone blindly. This is your company, you would completely know what is happening here. You should be able to see things clearly and take wise decisions. I want to wish the best for the company and for development the management has to be little more alert. At that time I was just a fresher and I was confused whether I should tell them this or just leave it as such since it was not my business. But I felt should speak out since I felt it may benefit the organization as well as other employees to some extend. I wondered how easy it was for one to deceive his superior.

My friend works in an organization where she tells after the team meeting with their manager all are frustrated. He fails to appreciate others and only criticizes his employees. Whether the business is up or down, the team meetings end up with the same story. Only motivated employees can perform better.

Another story is when I met one of my ex-co workers. He had been working in an renowned organization. The guy was famous for his sincerity and hard work. Whenever I met he seemed to be satisfied. One day when I saw him he told he has resigned from there and shifted to another job with less salary than this. I was surprised. The reason he told was he did overtime there and worked very hard. Through the management knew about this, at the appraisal time everybody was considered the same. He was a guy who gave salary second priority and always worked at organization point of view, but felt bad that his hard work was not recognized there and he left.

Leadership has nothing to do with the job title. Everywhere around us, we see leaders; at school, at home, at office. Leaders have the  responsibility to lead their followers well and to be a good example to them.

Daily we interact with different sorts of  people. Think about how you feel and think after you interact with them. Sometimes a simple gesture like a smile can be influential. We may have been taught by several teachers but some of them are always close to our heart. 

Leadership is  an attitude. Each one of us need to  know our role and do our responsible. Everyone can be a leader.  We all are given the opportunity to be the best of ourselves. 

Leadership lessons begins at home. A true leader is a leader in every area of life.  Parents have been entrusted by  God to carry out the job to lead their kids to grow into confident,considerate and responsible human being.

Self-centered children will neglect or mistreat others, and their marriages as well as  career gets damaged.
Children will be equipped with the necessary life skill only if parents stop spoon feeding and stop
take care of problems for them. Parents are their children’s biggest role model.

In one way or the other we/our words/our actions influence others. A house wife who performs her duties well can be said a leader. A mother who instill some morals in her children is a leader.

Friday 24 October 2014

Let Go and Happiness

Examine the people who are unhappy in this world. The majority will be the ones who stick on to rigid rules, being too much rigid, and following the conventional rules either imposed by parents/society or their own early life lessons. They don't want to experience life. The rules in their mind governs their life. And who has created the rules for them? Either their parents or elders. What makes them stick on to the old conventions. It is FEAR that controls them.Many problems are rooted in fear. Living by a rigid set of rules, your emotional experience becomes limited and you enjoy very less in life.

Fear of failure, fear of not being good enough,fear of being alone, fear of being isolated, fear of what others will think all control our mind. These all start from lack of trust in yourself, and in the present moment. If we learn to let go of all these fears/concerns and enjoy life as it comes it becomes more beautiful.

Letting go becomes a process of accepting that we can’t control other people. Life isn’t
something we control, no matter how much we try. Know that you can’t control much in life, but you can always control your reaction.

Every object, every life situation, every person is impermanent.

Forget & Forgive
If someone did something wrong to you, we feel angry with them. That is quite natural. But if we want to take revenge on them and wants to hurt them. In that case  we suffer the more. To make mistake is natural. If we are ready to admit and take responsibility for our mistakes then it is ok. If we choose not to forgive, we carry anger and resentment into future situations and deprive ourselves of the peace of mind.

Expectations in life
We all have expectation on how people should treat us. We have expectations on friends/relatives/office friends etc. When the expectations doesn't match we feel frustrated. Seeing people as they are helps you to have a better relationship with them. Let go of all unrealistic expectations in life.

Give up the beliefs and habits that are holding you back. Respect yourself enough to let go of anything that no longer works for you.

Letting go of attachment to a particular perspective and be open to all view points.

The more flexible, tolerant and open minded we are, the more happier we become.

Thursday 16 October 2014

Power of words

There is an enormous power in words. We read books/articles, new ideas arises and it affects our thought process. Writings of great authors have a great impact on our minds.

A sword can bring only damage/destruction. War is  not a solution for anything. It will only increase enmity and leaves only wounds. A society develops only through education, through the teachings and writings of
great intellectuals.

Wise usage of words can bring about many good changes. We see a new world through the writings from poets/writers.Think of the books that influenced us, may it be Bible/Quran/Bhagat Gita these all have beautiful messages for us.

These days through the social media we are able to see many social issues being pointed out and get public attention. During our childhood,  grand mothers tell us stories  from histories and they influence our little minds.

Writers and philosophers are more powerful to change the world than kings who forced their people to use swords.Words, written down in any form, can change minds and it reaches and influences a broader audience

It was not though war but through Ahimsa and Satyagraha that we got independence.Gandhiji wrote columns
in newspapers about the social injustices.Many of the writers through their literary works share their insights and allow us to think. The autobiography Wings of Fire is still a source of inspiration for many.

The writers live through their writings and are immortal. Great writers like  Shakespeare, Tagore, Vivekananda are still  remembered today. Their writings  leave an everlasting source of inspiration for all the generations.

With a sword one can kill or hurt people. But with a pen one can write about whats happening in the society.What actions cannot do, can be done by words. A writer cannot protest against a social evil alone, but he can make the readers aware of the situation and in that way bring about progress.

Pen brings the world closer to us and gives us exposure.

Imagine a very dull day. Read some quotes and it will brighten your day. These words are such energy boosters to us.

Many of the scams have been brought into  public attention through newspapers.

The impact of pen depends on the usage of it. Views  can be distorted and misinterpreted by the pen. Its power should be used in a wise and  positive way. The writers influences the society to a great extent so they should be will aware of their responsibility.

Wednesday 15 October 2014

Role of education

My view on educated person

To me education is something which develops our mental attitude and helps us grow to a higher level. The growth doesn't mean career wise. It means we become more equipped with knowledge and we know what is right and what is wrong.

Our education starts right from our childhood, we learn from parents, elders, friends and each life situation. Recently I heard a speech by someone, he was telling that learning any art form,  be it music, dance or anything is good since artists cannot do any harm to society. This is because they will be more socially aware.

Education will enable you to develop your own opinions, attitudes, values, and beliefs. No degree  however great can teach you everything you need to know either now or in the future. It can provide just a platform. Its after many years of learning that one can become a doctor/engineer/lawyer etc. We see many professionals with a lot of degrees attached to their name. Some of them are unethical, greedy, egoistic and arrogant people. But some are very much honest or sincere with their clients and have a humanitarian behavior. They all have the same formal education. But it is the mind sets and attitude that matters.

People destroy public properties, vehicles etc during strike. We have rules but we don't care to follow them. We see many types of bribes even in educational field. Parents are ready to donate huge amounts for getting seats in colleges. How can a person be a passionate doctor if is not following his interest and on compulsion joins the course?

One of my friend met with an accident, the one who hit him(he was an engineer) escaped without even dropping him to the hospital. One of the auto rickshaw wala took him to the hospital. Compared to the engineer, he had much lesser education.But he knew what was to be done and at the right time. If the education didn't provide one with the necessary common sense it is of no use.

I have observed that lot of less-educated people are more friendly, and down-to-earth generally. Few people with lot of success would always keep their feet on the ground and show lot of humility. Education without right attitude is of no use.

The purpose of education should be to prepare children for life, nourishing the hidden potential in every child so that they can contribute more to society. It should help to discover the natural talents each one of us posses. I believe the purpose of  education should always be creating people who will be productive and more socially aware. All this can happen only if the mind is developed.

A literate person can read books and it helps them to acquire more knowledge. But if he doesn't apply the knowledge it is of no use.

We cant say we are educated on the day we got our degree. There is always something new to learn every day and every moment. We can learn from the nature, the mirror, the windows, animals etc.

We have many high officials with high qualification. But many of them are corrupt. Our literacy rate is increasing, but social evils and crime against women and children are increasing. The education system has failed to provide the moral values to the people. 

Having a formal education doesn’t make anyone a better individual. But what matters is self development, humility, sound character and morally high thinking.  We have seen many college drops achieving success through hard work.

Compared to olden days, many of the youth today are more educated. But there is an increase in family problems, deaths due to family problems and divorces.We see the news of children being abandoned. Today people have become so busy that they are unable to spend proper time with their family and  unable to give care to the old parents. Material comforts have increased but we see youth neglecting parents and leaving them to old age homes. So what has the education helped them there?

Education should help in developing both moral and intellectual character, increasing confidence and help to rise to full potential.The objective of education should be to develop mind. We need more law abiding citizens, more professionals who excel in their field, more dedicated doctors etc.

Tuesday 14 October 2014

The little matters that matter

It is important to use your own intelligence in any situation. We can get guidance from many, but use your brain and create a path of your own. Be open to life as it comes your way, enjoy with your own inner intelligence instead of with stored judgments

It is important to set boundaries.It is also important to never cross limits. Know your rights, but don’t overstep your boundaries.Allow children/siblings to use their own freedom.Do not try to control or change people. Instead, focus on yourself, and be a model for them to follow.

It is important to be patient. Every problem has solution. When method A doesn't work, use Method B.

It is important to  let go of ego,grudges. Holding on any negative feeling will benefit us in no way. Be tolerant,but take necessary precaution to avoid a second experience. Many often we get fed up with people. Be realistic with expectation. Holding onto our ideals of how everyone should act will give us only disappointment. Accept people for who they are.

It is important to know the worth of hard work. Use your full calibre/potential. It is only when we get out of our comfort zone, we grow

It is important to Stay humble. Don’t let success go to your head.

It is important to learn from each mistake and rise up.Know your limitations and admit when you don’t know something.Face challenges and be strong.

It is important to  be enthusiastic and observe world  as a child, carry the enthusiasm as you grow older.We need to  learn a lot from children, to face challenges in life with joy and confidence that they show naturally.

It is important to get engaged with something every time. Stop idling. Anytime we can start a hobby for our own. Use your mind in a creative way. The inefficient use of the brain so much problems like feeling anxiety,frustration,depression and anger over the things that happen to us and might happen to us and on which we have no control.

Is is important to be practical and genuine in all situations. Always be ready to accept reality. Few days ago I was feeling some sort of frustrations and a feeling that God hasn't given what I deserve. But then I saw one of my friend trying hard to manage the finance for his son's treatment.  That was an eye-opener for me.
Accept the world as it is, and we  can see people suffering and trying hard to make both ends meet.
It is important indeed to act out of compassion to make people’s lives better

It is important not to  criticize or judge people without knowing their stories.We have set some standards and want others to follow it. Many people will follow it and  many will violate it. They are probably suffering in some way, God only knows. When we walk a mile in someone else's shoes, we realize many things.