Know your strength and weakness

Know your strength and weakness

What comes to mind when someone asks you about your strengths?
Remember that moment during a job interview when the interviewer asked you what your strength and weakness are.You are then in the phase of life where you are not much aware of what your strengths are. Knowing yourself is true wisdom.

You listed a set of attributes before the panel and says I am this, I am that and so on. You get a job. Bank balance increases, life style changes, you own a flat/house/four wheeler and so and so. The person who scored well on all the entrance exams may not be the real winner in life.

Life is not easy for any of us. Unexpected difficulties may arise.

Perseverance, patience and wisdom these traits distinguish a strong person from the weak. Each experience whether it be bad or good should be our teacher.

I know a girl, she was well educated, got a job as a teacher, married a nice guy, built a house and had a beautiful daughter. All nice. Suddenly her husband had some health issues, he has to quit his job. She needed to manage everything the medical expense, the mental support for him and earn for the family. She traveled 150 km daily to reach her office and worked. She was the best lady I have seen since she gave all sort of emotional support to his partner, and was ready to sacrifice a lot. I envy her courage and determination.

Loving oneself is another important trait.I have seen people who hold on good relations with others and  value the relations have a sense of optimism and mindfulness in general. Love is a wonderful attribute that can be over used or underused —but when used well, love is a tremendous asset. Start by loving everyone around you. Show love to your friends, family, partner, colleagues, teachers, etc. Celebrate who you are in your deepest heart. When we try doing with love even the simple house hold duties like cleaning vessels will be something that we can enjoy.

Being responsible
Life is full of choices. Being responsible means being in charge of our choices and, thus, our lives. Make our own choices confidently without undue influence from others.

Appreciating the simple gifts of life. Enjoy the small beauties in world. Be receptive to the blessings and surprises of life and nature.  Be curious and try doing things differently

Learning expands our mind and soul.There are always new things to learn. Strengthen the current skills. Knowledge is the biggest wealth.Be willing to consider new ideas.

Humbleness: Be Modest; not arrogant or boastful. We should be able to keep things in perspective, and recognize our limitations as well as our strengths and don’t overestimate either of them. Humble people are more confident.While we  see a lot of self-important, and self-promoting people, humble ones are rare to find. Accept people ven if their opinions differ.

Be connected with the supreme power - A relationship of faith and gratitude with a power greater than ourselves.

It is when we are aware and acknowledge where our weak points are that we are most likely to overcome them.It gives you the courage to admit your own faults  and weaknesses.

Your character is what makes you the person you are.

Sometimes we have fears about our weaknesses without realizing it.

Some are easily affected withe negative thoughts. If possible, avoid the places, and people who trigger your negative thoughts.  Take up some new interest  like  a new hobby or a course that interests you and spare no time for negative thoughts.

Some people are short tempered. Sometimes in arguments even if they raise valid points that are unheard because of this. He who has enough self-control to stand firm at the moment when the other person is in a temper, wins in the end. It is not he who has spoken a hundred words aloud who has won; it is he who has perhaps spoken only one word. Once he/she is aware of this, he can take necessary precautions and be more aware in the next scenario.

Fear is one of main weakness people have. Little S loved singing. But her music teacher was always shouting at her when she made mistakes. Slowly she lost the confidence. Later she was taught by a new teacher and she made her alert of her mistakes and asked her to practice a lot. Slowly the girl enjoyed learning music and won many competitions.

At one point or the other we make mistakes in life. Mistakes can be silly too silly that it doesn't cause any damage to others and sometimes complex.

Sometimes we are addicted to some habits like smoking, drinking etc. It ruins our health and our family. If a man is able to recognize his addiction and able to control the temptation, he becomes strong and is able to control his life.Sometimes we mis-judge people and scenarios and overact. We are not able to control our emotions and anger. The moment we know things are different, we should be ready to admit our mistake. It takes strength to apologize.

Many people are in  false belief that admitting their mistakes makes them weak.   We all are human and we make mistakes in life.The attitude towards recognizing our mistakes will make a big difference in our life.

The humble people do not see the need to be perfect, because they already know perfection is impossible.  They see themselves realistically. Therefore, admitting mistakes does not damage their ego.

Make an honest apology. Many time people spend so much time in justifying their bad decisions.

Admission of a mistake, makes learning possible by moving the focus towards understanding

Many of us carry in our hearts a lot of emotional baggage of past hurts from others. All these make us weak.



Add more meaning to your life.

What makes beautiful marriages?

We are nearing our tenth anniversary and this post is about what makes marriages beautiful. Ten years is something to celebrate for certain. Here I share some things about marriage that I’ve learned over the years.

Over the years I’ve learned what’s important, and what to let go. I am happy that after 10 years we’re still in love with one another, and  love our life together.

What made me write this post is not our anniversary, but recently I read about a couple with 4 children getting divorced and fighting for the children. The points that surprised me was the boy was now just 28 and wife 26. Both of them aren't properly educated even. It was love at first sight and a marriage when both were too young. And now they are fighting, what sin did the poor children did to suffer? How could they consider marriage as a silly thing?

Whether it be boy or girl, they should have the minimum level of education so that they can live independent and earn. Then only they should think of marriage.They should be independent and well equipped to face the world before tying the knot. Also they should have the mental maturity to choose their life partner. Nothing should be compelled. Yes family can choose the person but it is for them to tell their opinion and decide.

We take all effort to find the right partner for us. Family background, education, financial position, horoscope and star match. Criteria is long but the most important thing is to be the BEST partner.

Marriage is a thousand little things. It needs trust, friendship, understanding, appreciation, sharing responsibilities and faith.

If a relation is based on trust, the partners are ready to do all sacrifices to make it happy.

Treasure your life partner. All successful relations have admiration and mutual respect. The couples enjoy warm thoughts and feelings for each other and take full effort to ensure their partner feels loved and cared for.

Being the perfect partner means see the best, allow the other to grow and change. I have seen many old couples having healthier and stronger relationship. It was not because they have not much difference of opinion or arguments but because they tried to rectify the issues and knew forget and forgive.There will be imperfections, there will be incompatibities but the ability to deal with that is the secret.The key is to see your partner as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person.

Children learn the rules of marriage from the parents.

Marriage is not something to be taken into granted. In ten years, we have learned that. We’ve had to work at it sometimes. We’ve made compromises. We’ve had arguments and fights. But we’ve also recommitted to loving each other for the sake of ourselves

We learnt that there is no use in arguing  on silly things. Now when one of us bring up an issue, the other person takes it seriously.

Be considerate and communicate properly.

Be honest and make all decisions in life together.

While no relationship is perfect, our life together has opened my heart and mind to a whole new level of happiness, forgiveness, and true love. We are both the same people on the inside. Two souls finding our way through this life making full  effort to be good people.

Ego, selfishness,immaturity, inability to take decisions all are reasons for unhappy marriages.
Forgive almost everything as quickly as you can. Holding a grudge doesn’t solve your problem, it makes it worse. Before fighting for the rights, cross check whether you are doing the responsibilities.

There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it's not working and be honest when it needs fixing. Those who quit even without making proper effort doesnt recognize the beauty in marriages.

The most common reasons couples give for long-term marital success are commitment and companionship.

Celebrate your marriage every day. The key is to keep it fresh -- make your marriage feel new and exciting

Be happy for yourself. Only happy people can be happy partner.Does he/she bring out the best in you or the worst in you? Does he/she somehow inspire you to be a better person?

Look beyond the imperfections and be the best partner. A relationship can grow if it allow giving spaces, give and take policy, respect and emotional support.

Concluding with this quote by Khalil Gibran

Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

We make our own heaven or hell

We start hearing of heaven and hell from our grandma tales. Good people go heaven and bad to hell. What makes life heaven or hell for you?

We are the architects of our own fate. We meet the miserable people, who are always complaining about anything and everything, and  the optimistic people who always look at the glass as half full and are constantly seeking more out of life.

If a person can keep his mind pleasant in spite of the sorrows and difficulties he faces, he experiences heavenly bliss. But there are people who are always sad and dissatisfied. Such people even though wealthy and healthy are unable to experience true bliss. They feel they are living in hell.

The mind is nothing but a mix of positive and negative thoughts. The negative thoughts does nothing but drains our energy. Negative thinking can become a habit of mind and is easy to inherit.

Many fail in relationships because of the negative thoughts. Instead of feeling totally disappointed and frustrated do the little efforts to make the conditions improve.

The negative thoughts even without our knowledge takes full control of our mind.

Arrogance, ego,jealousy, grudges,revenge,possessiveness,domination, selfishness all make us live in hell.

The selfish believe they deserve more than others and believe they are the center of universe.

We meet people who give a lot of emphasis on material wealth as a sign of real wealth. They are rich but bankrupt inside and are unhappy. We see people dissatisfied with job, with  marriage, house,properties etc. They come jealous and then life becomes hell.

Sometimes people are caught up in the past and future too much. They miss many wonderful moments in life.

Some people are very much skilled in finding the fault with people and situations. They focus more on problems rather than solution.

When we think positively, we approach life with enthusiasm, there are good relationships, we have the strength to face  challenges in life. . This is the heaven created by our own thoughts and actions. You have the ability to bring Heaven on Earth even in the most chaotic of situations.


We have seen people with disabilities achieving a lot in life. But there are also people with sound health who idle around and stay unhappy.




We see relations between husband and wife, parents and children, between friends etc getting spoiled because of misunderstandings.

A positive approach to any situation can bring new changes. 

A happy mind can make the surroundings seem heavenly. But an unhappy mind only makes the surroundings unpleasant as hell.If you act according to moral principles you can create your own heaven right here.

Prayer , God, Faith and Fear

"Come to my home this weekend, Mr.X is coming there. He will pray for you and sure it will be answered". We thanked his good intention, but my mind questioned. "How can someone pray for us?". Will GOD answer my answered prayer if someone else ask for it?

We know we weren't blessed with all that we wanted, buy yes GOD has provided us that understanding and maturity to accept things. But yes GOD helped us to be happy by showing living examples of unhappy people who possess much more than we had.

When I look back, I realize it was the difficult situations that made us grow.
To me GOD is my friend with whom I can openly share thanks, hopes, all my fears.I believe God is all around us, within each of us.

We all pray, visit temples/churches/mosques or we pray simply at home. And are we happy after the prayer. Very often we complain that he is not considering our wishes and  we often take the blessings he has offered for granted.

Closely listen, He is telling it’s not the right time. Please wait. If events are not happening as you expected , or if you  doesn't feel  circumstances change in your favor,relax and  trust God. God has some better action plan for you.

You may feel frustrated during rejections in life, years later you will look back at and thank God for not answering that prayer the way you wanted.

Learn to love all, not only the joys and the victories, but also the pain and the struggles. This is what GOD teaches us.

Many times I wonder when I see people go behind superstitions with the desire to make quick money without much hard work, for gettings jobs,promotion,  for fixing issues in marriage and some even ask for help in their wrong deeds. We are controlled by some unknown fears and become weak.We lose confidence in our own abilities after a certain period of time. It is FEAR that is ruling them

Nothing works if we heart is not pure. Even without doing our part well, we believe the special archanas/dakshinas  etc will  do wonders.  Greed is the main reason for many superstitions.Majority believe that they can peep into their future with the help of astrology. Many times they follow the advice of astrologers alone without doing their part. Even today people consider certain numbers, days etc as unlucky.

Be aware and use our reasoning ability. Majority of the superstitions are not based on any logic. It is now the FEAR of God than the LOVE of God that rules us. What we need is faith or  belief in one’s own self and a trust on the miracles of hard work. We should be able to judge everything by the strong light of reason  having firm faith in God

Sure there is an unknown  supreme power which is controlling every species. I believe we all have a destiny and I believe in fate and in karma.

There is an  attitude of offering something to God in return for a favour.Its not the special offerings but the true intention that matters. God can see right into your mind. A person who is kind, and honest is far more likely to please God,  whether he does his rituals or not.

Love and respect everyone. Be kind. Even when life is tough, take courage and believe in GOD. This is what each religion is supposed to teach us. There should not a competition between religions that each one is better than the other.

Be mindful and happy in the present moment. If we are not happy after the communication with the GOD, it is sure we haven't prayed anything.

People are often prisoners of their own concepts.

I can never believe that a human being can have the power of God. If their philosophies helps us to calm our mind we can hear them. We should not cross the limits by losing our common sense and start worshiping a human being who is like any of us.

God always help those who help themselves. So play our part well and then be ready to accept what is offered.We have to accept that God always wants to bring out the best in us. I remember a beautiful advice I received, Whatever it is whether it is good or bad,  leave it to God and have faith in Him.

Each one is distinct and unique in the eyes of God. Never compare , because there is no comparing amongst unique things. God-realization grants us Joy, Peace and Fearlessness

Our unfulfilled expectations can be a source of pain. Look for and recognize your blessings. Cultivate gratitude. Appreciate the people in your life. Enjoy the beauties of nature. Change your perspective and recognize that even  challenges are blessings because they give you an opportunity to grow.

Instead of worrying on the unfairness of life, you can be more accepting of your circumstances. When we have faith in GOD we  believe we are closer to God and accept all challenges in life as they come. And it adds more meaning to our life.

Life without regrets

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. (Abraham Lincoln)

How many of us feel the real essence of life? Life is an amazing gift but many of us take for granted. I am not a saint. I do make mistakes. But I treat every experience in my life as a lesson.  Many often we hear people telling I regret I should have taken that courage to take that decision in life.

As people become older, they have many types of regrets

1. Regret for not speaking where they had to

2. Regret for not keeping in touch with some friends/relatives

3. Regret for the chances they missed and didn't made use in their life

4. For not taking risks in life

5. For being in the company of bad people and taking bad decisions

6. Sticking on to some bad habits

Are you living your life or just pulling off?

As said in this quote

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.
Kahlil Gibran

We meet people who are  successful in acquiring material wealth, but miserably empty inside.

Life can pass us by all too quickly and before we know it we have missed out living the lives we truly wanted.

Be yourself -  Love what you love and be yourself, and you will end up with a lifestyle and relationships that make you truly happy.The responsible individual strives to make  his own set of beliefs and values.

Behave honestly with everyone you encounter. Be genuine and  speak your mind without worrying about what others think.

Get inspired with others around you.It is equally important to start spending less time around with toxic people.

If we focus on what we don’t have, we’re going to be unhappy, and we’re going to suffer
If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough. Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul. 

If we are too rigid, we limit our opportunities for growth and bring frustration into our lives. Be open and be ready to embrace change.

Speak when you need to -  Don’t hide your thoughts and feelings, especially when you can make a difference.  Be brave.  Say what needs to be said.Speak clearly and keep your head up. Stand up for what you believe.

When we live too much in our comfort zone, we will never realize how happy you could be. Take risks in life when needed.

Does your beliefs empower or limit you?

Does your beliefs empower or limit you?

We tell much of freedom, but how much truly are we free?

A news in today's paper that a woman committed suicide because of the dowry issue evoked many thoughts. From the article it  seemed it was a love marriage, she was a graduate. She couldn't withstand the issues created by her husband and MIL. He demanded money from her family last week.

Marriage in India is steeped in traditions and deep-rooted cultural beliefs.The dowry system is so deeply rooted in Indian culture.Many often  the girls commit suicide when their in-laws force  them to bring more and more money from their parents. Though there are now many laws to protect women these days we hear the suicide stories very often.

Many questions arose in my mind, She was a graduate, why couldn't the husband allow her to work and earn. She would have contributed to the family income and be independent. This was a love marriage and how could a man force his wife to such a bad situation?

Another story I found interesting was a birthday celebration of a child. The grandparents were very much interested to celebrate it since it is a BOY. That spirit was not seen when they had a girl grand child earlier.

 Even though there are laws to protect these, we as a society needs to do certain things

We need to teach our daughter the distinction between between being well-behaved and being a doormat.
Allow them to stand for themselves when situation demands.
We need to teach our boys the rules of equality and respect, so that when they grow up gender equality becomes a natural way of life. Educate girls as you educate your boys. In not any small way, discriminate between your girl child and your boy child. Allow our girls to stand up for themselves and reach their full potential.

Traditional belief systems have a negative impact on gender equality.Men are believed to be the heads of families and women are expected to submit themselves to their husbands.

There need to be a strong awareness in the minds of the people, the entire society needs to protest against the demand for dowry.

Each mother-in-law needs to think that she too was once a  daughter-in-law.  A woman is an important member of family and is entitled to all the rights that a man enjoys.

Whatever traditions you follow in your life, take a moment to think of the reason behind it.

Many often we are living in the prisons of our mind, created by us or influenced by others. Are we giving the much needed importance to our life. If everyone uses their mind in the best way world would have been a better place.

Negative stereotypes obstruct peoples ability to fulfill their potential by limiting choices.
Don't let anyone's beliefs ruin your life

We hear generalizations you make about things, about people and about life.You simply accept them as being the truth, and you don’t even question that things could be any different.

We have to believe fully in ourselves.

Free yourself from the prison of mind. We can be happy if we change our perceptions in life. Just because a situation isn’t favorable at the moment, it doesn’t mean that it is ruined or that things will never improve.

Concluding with Tagore's lines

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.


We don't need anyone to assure us of our worth, we must do it ourselves

A leader is someone whom others like to follow

Who are leaders? Anyone who brings good changes can be considered a leader.  We  all can be leaders and lead others by example. We are leader to our co-worker/wife/children/siblings/parents/neighbors/friends and even strangers.

The stories are from what I observed during different times.

When I started my career, I saw employees deceiving their managers. There was a guy, he was the senior most employee, his duty mainly was to deceive the managers rather than doing his duties. The managers were doing this as a part time business and didn't know much about the business and so they blindly believed whatever he said. I couldn't digest any of the things that he did. The management always considered him as the key person in any decision making. Despite the fact that he wasn't contributing anything significant to the organization, he was considered the manager to whom other employees should report to. He had convinced them that he was doing a part time professional PG course for which he not even had registered. When I joined the team, I was about to complete the same course. I could understand the lies he was telling. All other employees were frustrated since they did know that he was getting more than what he actually deserves. Two months after I got another job and I resigned from there. On my last meeting there with the MD, I told her, please don't follow anyone blindly. This is your company, you would completely know what is happening here. You should be able to see things clearly and take wise decisions. I want to wish the best for the company and for development the management has to be little more alert. At that time I was just a fresher and I was confused whether I should tell them this or just leave it as such since it was not my business. But I felt should speak out since I felt it may benefit the organization as well as other employees to some extend. I wondered how easy it was for one to deceive his superior.

My friend works in an organization where she tells after the team meeting with their manager all are frustrated. He fails to appreciate others and only criticizes his employees. Whether the business is up or down, the team meetings end up with the same story. Only motivated employees can perform better.

Another story is when I met one of my ex-co workers. He had been working in an renowned organization. The guy was famous for his sincerity and hard work. Whenever I met he seemed to be satisfied. One day when I saw him he told he has resigned from there and shifted to another job with less salary than this. I was surprised. The reason he told was he did overtime there and worked very hard. Through the management knew about this, at the appraisal time everybody was considered the same. He was a guy who gave salary second priority and always worked at organization point of view, but felt bad that his hard work was not recognized there and he left.

Leadership has nothing to do with the job title. Everywhere around us, we see leaders; at school, at home, at office. Leaders have the  responsibility to lead their followers well and to be a good example to them.

Daily we interact with different sorts of  people. Think about how you feel and think after you interact with them. Sometimes a simple gesture like a smile can be influential. We may have been taught by several teachers but some of them are always close to our heart. 

Leadership is  an attitude. Each one of us need to  know our role and do our responsible. Everyone can be a leader.  We all are given the opportunity to be the best of ourselves. 

Leadership lessons begins at home. A true leader is a leader in every area of life.  Parents have been entrusted by  God to carry out the job to lead their kids to grow into confident,considerate and responsible human being.

Self-centered children will neglect or mistreat others, and their marriages as well as  career gets damaged.
Children will be equipped with the necessary life skill only if parents stop spoon feeding and stop
take care of problems for them. Parents are their children’s biggest role model.

In one way or the other we/our words/our actions influence others. A house wife who performs her duties well can be said a leader. A mother who instill some morals in her children is a leader.